What are kids in care REALLY like? Our Co-Founder Mason's Story

Mason was born in regional NSW and experienced from an early age a chaotic household, with limited structure, no routines, harsh disciplines and parents with poor mental health, alcohol misuse and other trauma-based issues themselves. When he was 11, he was removed from his birth parents’ care and placed in the care of the state. He then experienced what many kids in care have to go through; multiple changes of placements in the following years.

On his first night after being removed, Mason recalls being taken to a Short Stay youth refuge, as there were no foster carers available in the region. This was a ‘group home’ of sorts for kids aged 12-21 and housed about 10 young people. He was taken to this place with no explanation of what was going to happen, how long he would be there or why. He didn’t know anyone, he was separated from his siblings, he was completely lost, scared and anxious. The youth workers at the refuge did their best to make him feel welcome and, due to the lack of carers in the area, this would see Mason stay there for over a year. While Mason recalls the workers as fundamental in helping him during that time, the rotational roster of workers meant no single, consistent carer to provide a foundation for safety and security.

When he was moved to his first foster placement at the age of 12, it was a respite carer so even this stay was destined to be short and temporary. He remembers this experience as being scary and describes his experience as feeling like an outsider, where he was given his own cutlery, cups and plates to use and was not allowed to sit with the family at meals times. Mason stayed in this placement for only two weeks before going back to the refuge. If he had been made to feel he was a member of the family, welcomed, included, nurtured and supported, rather than being made to feel he was a burden, he may well have stayed longer and found himself his ‘forever’ family.

Mason had 4 more temporary respite placements in a period of 3 years, until he was placed in a full time placement. This lasted for only two years, breaking down when he was 17. When young people are typically learning to get their licence, graduating high school, thinking about uni or work life after school, focused on friends and fun, Mason was left to become an adult without any family to support or protect him. This is sadly the experience of many young people leaving the care system, left to defend themselves and learn how to become adults without the safety net of a family or a home to return to when needing comfort or care.

Whilst in foster care, Mason learnt, from all the changes of placements and from being harmed by some of those foster carers, that he was safer (physically and mentally) to take matters into his own hands. So he would run. He would ‘abscond’ from placements and make his way to the one place he knew he felt safe, was welcome, and would be cared for. The youth refuge. The workers who would open the door, rather than scold and punish him for running away, would greet him like an old friend and welcome him inside, providing safety and care. They came to know his behaviours and recognise what those behaviours were trying to tell them. If he was angry at something, yelling and starting to get aggressive, they would allow him space, let him calm down and then afterwards, when settled, talk to him about his emotions, why they were so ‘big’ and how he could manage them. He learnt skills from his youth workers like how to regulate his emotions, how to understand how to talk through what he needs, rather than to act out because of them; skills his foster carers were meant to teach him.

Mason went on to get his first job, build his skills, gain promotions and work his way up in different agencies. He has gone on to build his own successful companies, work in high level government and NGO positions and now through Tribe, start giving back to other children in care who are less fortunate that he is. Read more about Mason’s Story here

Sadly, the odds are against most foster children finishing high school, going to university, gaining quality employment. This may be in part due to the multiple placement changes children go through until they find a suitable primary placement; many exit care without ever having done so. Could YOU be that person for a child in care? Could you be the one they run to when they are distressed and in need of comfort and care? Can you be the one who is waiting for them, ‘home fires burning’, so they know, even though they ran away from you, they will be welcomed home each and every time? Can you be the one to teach a child how to become an adult, through role modelling, being present, being available and taking time to notice who they are, not just what they do?

If yes, register with us at the Tribe Project and take the quiz to determine if you’re ready to be linked with a fostering agency and proceed to becoming a carer.

YOU can make the difference between a foster child becoming another statistic, someone who doesn’t complete high school, who ends up on drugs, in abusive relationship, homeless or worse, or you can go on to raise a child who ends up just like Mason, a strong, passionate advocate for others in care!