What do children and young people think of foster carers?

Young people often do not have a voice in the ‘system’. They are sometimes moved from placement to placement without even knowing why, who they’re moving in with, what they’ll be like. So here at Tribe, with one of our key objectives being to bring in new potential carers to the system, we figured, why not ask a young person in care what she would want a potential foster carer to know before taking the plunge!

We asked Michaela* and she told us her views

*name changed to respect privacy

As a person in care, I would love to know these things about a potential foster carer;

Who they are as a person (what they enjoy doing, as well as their personality), where they live, their family, as well as their daily lifestyle.

What would other young people want to know?

One thing that any young person would want to know is who they are staying with. It is so hard when you don’t know who you are with as it makes it hard to connect to your carer in ways that make you feel safe and respected. When I first came into care, I wanted to connect with my carers as much as possible, as I knew I was going to stay with them for a while, so I wanted to know who they were.

What is important to tell people wanting to become carers? What are we not doing well when someone becomes a foster carer?

It is important to ask the child if they need anything. The last thing that a child wants is to come into care and not have the things they need. Whether that be food, a shower, maybe some toys, it is important that you supply the child with the things they need to make them feel safer.

What do you think is important for someone to consider before becoming a carer?

I think it is important to consider before becoming a foster carer that each child is different. When I first came into care, I acted differently from my siblings as I was handling the transition differently. When a child comes into care, they might act differently to another child, as both children will be handling the transition differently. I used to act out because I was confused and scared. It is important to consider this when a child comes into care, as the child might act out or get upset. I think that is the most important thing to consider before becoming a carer.

What type of person would make the best type of carer?

I think that the type of person who would make the best type of carer is someone who is caring and gentle. It is important not to start laying down rules straight away as it might scare the child. I remember my first foster carer told me all the rules on the first night I stayed with them, and it scared me. Make sure you are gentle with the child, and make sure you take into consideration that the child in your care might have gone through a lot of things, and they might be finding it challenging to sort through these things. I think that if someone is able to read when the child needs comforting, and when the child needs space, it can make things a lot easier to support the child.

What should carers know about foster care before they get started on the application process?

I think that carers should know that being in foster care can be scary for children. I think that it is important for carers to understand that every child will experience being in care differently, so it is important to try to make the child feel as safe as possible.

What is crucial for them to do as carers, the first day of a placement, the first month?

It is crucial for carers to supply the children with everything they need. On the first day of a placement, I think it is important to make sure the child settles in, knows where everything is, and I think it is vital for the carer to make sure the child can ask them for anything they need. Within the first month of the placement, I think it is important for the carer to get to know the child as much as they can, being sure to tell the child about themselves as well.

Thanks to Michaela for telling us what we need to be thinking about as potential foster carers, and for us here at Tribe when we’re trying to find suitable carers. If you feel you have what it takes to be the carer Michaela describes, then reach out to the Tribe and take the Eligibility Quiz today!