Just one night, can make a difference

The difference you can make in a young person's life.

Hi! It's Mason here, the cofounder of The Tribe Project. It’s been a while since I’ve tapped away at the keys to bring you a blog, but I’ve been inspired to write about the impact that you can really have in a young person’s life.

I’ve written before about my story as a young person in the foster care system, and what motivated me to create the Tribe Project alongside my fabulous co-founder Mel. As someone who has lived as a young person in this complex and sometimes broken foster care system, today I wanted to tell you about the impact that you can have on a young person in foster care’s life, an impact that is so great that it can exceed that of a biological parent/child relationship; an impact that can be so big that it only takes a weekend of respite or emergency care to change a young person’s life trajectory forever.

When I reflect on my own experience as a foster kid, in different families, youth refuges and a portion of my childhood spent homeless, I think about what the key experiences were that really shaped me into the person I am today. It probably surprises you to learn that it wasn’t my full-time foster carers. It was my respite carers and the amazing youth workers that worked with me over the years.

You see, when you are a young person who has only ever known trauma, abuse and rejection your whole life, the smallest amount of love, trust, kindness and even basic sense of family belonging, leaves you to question, “Is this real?” “Are they testing me here?” and so you really learn to put your walls up, to save yourself from more pain and trauma. I’m sure I could go into this more in another blog, so I’ll stay on track!

The point I want to make is that, even if a child in your care is there for a night, a week, a month or a year, just the smallest amount of love, kindness, trust and empathy can create a lasting impact on a young person’s life forever.

I remember having a respite placement when I was about 14, and it was only for a week. But I remember feeling like I belonged to the family (even the dog loved me). I sat for meals, played outside, rode bikes and watched TV with the family. I even went on their weekly ‘family’ night and saw a movie with the other kids. I had never known this type of family normality or routine, and finally I saw first hand what all my school friends talked about when talking about their own families. Just that one week had such a profound impact on me, that even though I was sad to leave the placement, I went away from that experience with a portion of my faith restored. For two reasons;

1. I finally started to believe that maybe I could be a ‘normal’ kid, and that what was happening to me was in no way my fault. Something that I hadn’t believed before.

2. For the first time in my life, I felt this feeling of family belonging and connectedness. Turns out those kids ended up going to my high school and remained friends through the early part of my high school experience, so I actually then felt like perhaps I wasn’t the odd one out, or ‘unlovable’.

Even if that child comes to you scared, traumatised, upset, alone, confused and hungry for one night or a weekend, the understanding and the kindness you can show that young person, in a time where they are starting to understand the world around them and feeling like an outsider, can change their life forever.

So I encourage you, take the pre screen quiz. Find out how you can contribute to a young person’s tribe, and let’s fix this system. Let’s give young people the family experience they all equally deserve.

See you next time.

Mason x

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